Think back to the last time you stopped to smell some flowers. Like intentionally smell them? You will find a definitive memory an experience of smell, an intimate and notable moment. This kind of experience comes from being present and fully available. For a majority of us there’s always a long to do list and thus many things to sort through our brain, so it’s easy to run on auto pilot. You picked up the kids from school, rushed home to get dinner started, fed the kids, helped with homework, gave them a bath, now you are reading them a story and you’re falling asleep because it’s bed time. With so many activities left ahead of you before it’s finally your bed time you are busy thinking ahead and planning those out. Missing critical moments and memories that your little ones are forming, being inattentive and not present. Unlike us young children generally have less on their to do list so, they are able to be more present in each moment and are aware that mommy isn’t paying attention to them.
You can miss out on other good moments in life by being not present with your friends, family and especially your partner. You decide to give up on your to do list and go to bed but your partner decide tonight is a good night to relax and de-stress together before bed. One thing leads to another and you’re both in each others arm, having a good time but you haven’t notice because you’re also making a mental grocery list, remembering what activities are on the calendar for the kids tomorrow, and figuring out what’s for lunch? This is a subjective example but what I am intending to illustrate here is the ability to miss out on enjoying the simple pleasures of love making with your partner without intending to.
Relationships are successful when everyone acts with the intentions of what is best for their partner. That way you will be like each other catch pillow, he catches her when she falls, and she catches him when he falls. Imagine the scenario I illustrated in the paragraph above, instead of making a to do list that person becomes focus on their partner and shift their attention, becoming present by making decisions about that moment. The experience of love making will be transformed for both of them. They will each seek to please the other and achieve the intended motive of sex, pleasure and intimacy. The daily grind is difficult to deal with, and relationships aren’t easy either. Intimacy and love making is overlooked but It’s a blessing to have someone that knows who you are and appreciates you for who you are, that in itself is intimacy. Please don’t get caught up in your head and let the relationship you want to have pass you by. Most people prefer to fantasize about the type of relationship they want, but they never take the steps to make it happen in real life. There’s this fairy tale notion that things should happen automatically and if they don’t something is wrong with the relationship. No, everything takes effort, even love making. Focus on your partner and leave the list outside the bedroom door. You will form memories for your partner and yourself of beautiful intimate moments you create together. Then those memories will change your outlook on your relationship and sex life which will increase desire and add to you creating more beautiful intimate moments just by being present.